Two Ex Avoidants Talk About Having A Phantom Ex | Can This Be Fixed?

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In this episode of Can This Be Fixed?, hosts Thais Gibson and Mike Di Zio dive deep into the complexities of attachment styles, particularly focusing on the dynamics of dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant attachment styles. Drawing from personal experiences and professional insights, they explore the challenges of navigating relationships, the concept of "phantom exes," and the often overlooked inner struggles of those with avoidant tendencies. Mike shares his journey from being a dismissive avoidant to becoming secure, offering a unique perspective on what it's like to look back on past relationships with a new understanding. Thais, on the other hand, provides valuable insights into the fearful avoidant experience, discussing the ambivalence and challenges that come with deepening commitment in relationships. Listeners will gain a better understanding of how unmet needs, defense mechanisms, and communication patterns play crucial roles in shaping relationships. The hosts also tackle a question from their Reddit thread about the best way to suggest learning about attachment styles to a partner without triggering defensiveness or shutting down communication. Whether you're new to the concept of attachment styles or have been exploring them for a while, this episode offers practical advice, heartfelt stories, and strategies to foster healthier, more secure relationships. Tune in to learn how to identify and work through these attachment patterns for a more fulfilling connection with yourself and others. Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 01:23 - Regret & Going Back to an Ex (Mike) 05:06 - Mike Now, in Secure Attachment 07:06 - Regret & Going Back to an Ex (Thais) 10:41 - Thais Now, in Secure Attachment 13:13 - Avoidants & Friends with Benefits 15:08 - Supporting FA Partners Who Fear Commitment 18:26 - Supporting DA Partners Who Fear Commitment 23:12 - 7-Day Free Trial: All Access Membership Pass 24:31 - Did Mike Have a Phantom Ex When He Was DA? 27:13 - Does Mike Have a Phantom Ex Now as a Secure Attachment? 28:52 - Being Friendly with Exes (Mike) 35:18 - Did Thais Have a Phantom Ex When She Was FA? 39:07 - Has Thais Dated Anyone Who Had a Phantom Ex? 43:37 - Mint Mobile 44:50 - Quince 46:46 - Reddit Question 47:25 - Mike’s Response 50:28 - Being Introduced to Attachment Theory (Mike) 53:25 - Being Introduced to Attachment Theory (Thais) 56:42 - Changing Others Isn’t the Answer 1:00:00 - Find More Mike DiZio Content 1:01:59 - Conclusion  Get Your Question Answered by Thais and Mike: https://www.reddit.com/r/CanThisBeFixed/ Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=mp-08-26-24&el=podcast Go to http://cozyearth.com/thais and use code THAIS for an exclusive 40% discount. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/Thais Go to Quince.com/thais for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Let’s connect! https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool  https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/  https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices