2023-08-28
35 分钟Lori Gottlieb believes we all have an inner narrator. In this episode, she explains why the story you tell yourself is key to your happiness (or lack thereof). She also discusses the stages of change, why relationships are a dance, and the steps to finding a good therapist that can help you edit the story of your life. Lori is a therapist, the bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and a co-host on the Dear Therapists podcast. She was once also an executive at NBC, overseeing shows like the hit medical drama ER. It’s through these varied experiences that she’s realized the power of being aware of your personal narrative and being willing to edit your story. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts
Ted audio collective.
You'Re listening to how to be a better human.
I'm your host, Chris Duffy.
If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, it's practically guaranteed that you've heard either me or one of our guests talk about therapy.
And I feel like these days there is a lot of talk about how great therapy is, but a lot less about how it actually works.
Its a little bit like if everyone kept telling you that its so great for your body to use weights to work out, but then when you tried to join a gym, it involved doing all sorts of research and asking for recommendations.
And it was extremely complicated to figure out how much the gym was going to cost each month and also whether the gym had openings for new members.
Plus, no one could really explain to you exactly what the difference was between using a gym and just buying some dumbbells and keeping them under your bed.
I'm not going to belabor the gym.
Metaphor anymore here, but I think you get my point.
That is why I am so excited about today's guest, Laurie Gottlieb.
Laurie is a therapist and an author who wrote the book maybe you should talk to someone.
Lori is amazing at explaining how and why therapy works, what you can do to change the inner narrative you may be telling yourself, and why therapy has been such an important force in her own life.
One thing that I love about Lori is how she's so willing to talk about both the big picture stuff, and she is just as willing to dive into the nitty gritty gritty details, including some very practical steps for how to find a therapist and what you should look for if you do meet with someone for the first time.
To get us started, here's a clip from Lori's TED talk.
Now, I have a pretty unusual inbox because I'm a therapist and I write an advice column called Dear Therapist, so you can imagine what's in there.
I've read thousands of very personal letters from strangers all over the world, and these letters range from heartbreak and loss to spats with parents or siblings.
I keep them in a folder on my laptop, and I've named it the problems of living.
But I have to be really careful when I respond to these letters because I know that every letter I get is actually just a story written by a specific author, and that another version of this story also exists.
It always does.