2022-10-04
36 分钟Sex is a normal part of human life, but it can also get complicated–whether you’re having it or not! The way we approach, think, and engage with our sexuality varies widely our culture, community, identity, and more. But one thing we can all strive for is healthy and safe sex. Siphumeze Khundayi and Tiffany Mugo are two sex educators and the co-founders of HOLAAfrica (HOLAA!) a Pan-Africanist digital platform that focuses on creating spaces that deal with safe sex and pleasure. Today they share insights on the kinds of mental and emotional tools we can turn to in order to have great sex, why it’s ok to take small steps on your sexual journey, and why it’s important to take ownership of your pleasure.
TED audio collective.
I'm your host, Chris Duffy, and you're listening to how to be a better human.
Today we're going to be talking about sex, and it sometimes feels like the more that we know, the more we discover is still out there.
While conversations about sex and sexuality are more out in the open these days, for many people, there is still a lot of embarrassment and shame around the topic, and as a result, many people avoid talking about it at all.
Myself included.
I will readily admit that I get very awkward and very nervous when I try and talk about sex.
Luckily, today's guests, Sufumeze Kundaii and Tiffany Mugo, are the founders of the hub of loving action in Africa, otherwise known as hala Africa, and they are known for promoting conversations about sex and sexuality across the continent.
What started as a passion project while they were still in university has now exploded into articles, workshops, a podcast, a TED talk, and so much more.
But at its core, Hallah Africa is a place where african women and queer people have a safe space to talk about sex in a way that's positive and not just centered on trauma or shame or sadness, and also not centered on the often repressive ideas about love and pleasure that have historically been promoted by the western world.
So in todays episode, im going to talk with Tiffany and Sifu Maze about what theyve learned in the process of gathering so many other peoples stories, how to let go of shame so that we can communicate more freely, and how to nurture a healthier and safer attitude towards sex, regardless of what youre into or not into.
To get started, here is a clip from from their Ted talk.
Even you as an adult have some internalized ideas about sex that you never challenge.
Some good, some bad, and some very, very strange.
So when you allow someone to see you butt naked, do you ever think about how the ideas that you internally have will affect, whether you will like them, tickling your elbow or kissing your thigh, or shouting out the name of a chosen deity?
One must do internal monitoring and evaluation if we are going to live our best sexy lives.
And we're going to tell you how to have a great sex life, right?
But the first thing you need to do is let go of the bad ideas you have about sex.
Think about the things that we need.
To change and the things we need to embrace in all of their shiny newness.
We are going to embrace all sorts of shiny newness right after this quick break.