[MUSIC PLAYING]
Anna Martin: From "The New York Times" I'm Anna Martin.
This is "Modern Love."
I don't want to brag, but I'm in a relationship,
which is really great for a lot of reasons.
A big one is that I get to avoid the very specific feeling I get whenever I go on a first date.
I'd open the door to whatever bar,
see the guy I was supposed to be meeting inside,
and just immediately feel so tired,
like my body already knew how much effort it would take to make a good impression,
to ask the right questions, to do that little dance at the end about who's going to pay.
Putting myself out there was exhausting.
That's how the author of today's "Modern Love" essay,
Susan Gelles felt, exhausted.
Her job was intense and all-consuming.
So she told herself she had no time for dating.
And that worked for her until she realized she was lonely.
So, finally, Susan decided to put herself out there in,
I think, one of the bravest ways a person possibly can,
by going to a singles mixer.