When Meher Ahmad first saw the movie “Bend It Like Beckham” as a young girl, she was transfixed. Watching the main character, an Indian woman who looked like her, kiss her white soccer coach, she saw a vision of her own romantic future. While she felt pressure from her family and her culture to be with a Pakistani boy, the movie opened up her lanes of attraction — from white boys to, eventually, “anything but brown men.” As Meher grew older, though, her thinking started to shift. Today, we share her story about how she found “the one.” Then, our host, Anna Martin, discusses a trend that is all over TikTok: romantic manifestation. She speaks with Laura Pitcher, a contributing writer for The New York Times, about how people are manifesting their ideal partners — and why the spiritual practice is so appealing to Gen Z. Hey, Modern Love listeners: What’s the most unusual place you have ever gone on a date? Maybe you crossed the Atlantic Ocean on a cargo ship, or you wound up at a restaurant after hours. We want to hear your story. Visit nytimes.com/datestory for submission details.
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Anna Martin: From The New York Times,
I'm Anna Martin.
This is Modern Love.
My mom is Chinese.
My dad is white.
I grew up hearing stories about how
when he first started dating my mom,
my dad tried to learn Mandarin
to win over my grandparents.
Eventually, he gave up,
and they accepted him anyway.
I also grew up watching my mom
going to my dad's family reunions.
She would stop at the door, take a moment
before walking into a house full of people who love her
but will never really understand her.
This week's essay is about a woman
who believes she'll have to navigate that distance
between her culture and her partners.