We’re kicking off our new season this Valentine’s Day with a story from a Modern Love veteran. David Finch has written three Modern Love essays about how hard he has worked to be a good husband to his beloved wife, Kristen. As a man with autism who married a neurotypical woman, he found it especially challenging to navigate being a partner and father. To make things easier, Dave kept a running list of “best practices” to cover every situation that might come up in daily life. His method worked so well that he became a best-selling author and speaker on the topic. But almost 11 years into their marriage Kristen suddenly told him she wanted to be "unmarried." Dave felt blindsided. He didn’t know what that meant, or if he could do it. But Dave wasn’t going to lose Kristen, so he had to give it a try. Valentine’s Day Bonus: How does politics affect your love life? Hear Anna Martin discuss this tomorrow on “The Run-Up,” a weekly politics show from The New York Times. You can search for “The Run-Up” wherever you get your podcasts.
Anna Martin: From 'The New York Times, '
I'm Anna Martin.
This is 'Modern Love.'
Welcome to a new season.
And Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
If you listen to the show,
you're clearly into stories about relationships,
so you may have heard of a guy named Dave Finch.
There was a time when a lot of people wanted to hear his ideas
about making relationships work
because he seemed to have solved a big problem in his own marriage.
As he tells it,
the problem stemmed from his overpowering need for order and predictability.
And it came out in all kinds of everyday situations
with his wife, Kristen, and their two kids.
David Finch: Take this, for example.
I had it in my head that nap time was 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock.
And if the 2 o'clock nap didn't happen
because somebody dropped over for a visit