What are your dating non-negotiables? For Hyla Sabesin Finn, it was smoking — or so she thought. Hyla met Larry in college. She was 17; he was a 21-year-old law student, puffing away outside the library. Hyla had been “indoctrinated by parents whose cocktail parties were littered with ‘no smoking’ signs back when smokers still mingled freely in society,” she wrote in her 2005 Modern Love essay. In spite of this, she was smitten. Today’s episode explores how our standards can evolve (if at all) when it comes to love. Our host, Anna Martin, calls up her friends to ask about their deal breakers. Plus, we get to hear from Hyla and Larry, who’ve now been married for 35 years. Modern Love is hosting its sixth college essay contest this year! If you’re an undergraduate at an American college or university, tell us what love is like for you. Visit nytimes.com/essaycontest for submission details. The deadline is March 27.
Anna Martin: OK, if any of you are in college,
this is a message for you.
Modern Love is hosting another college essay contest this year.
Modern Love editors want to know
what is love like for college students right now?
Check out the show notes for more details.
[music]
OK, here we go. I want to call some people.
Will: Hello?
Anna Martin: Hi, Will.
Will: Hi, Anna.
Anna Martin: Where are you right now?
Will: Oh my god, OK.
I am in line to get on a ferry to go pick up my new cat.
Anna Martin: That's exactly how I wanted to catch you actually, so this is perfect.
[music]
From The New York Times,
this is the Modern Love podcast.
I'm Anna Martin, and these are my friends.
Aaron: Sitting at my window, looking outside listening to Adele.