What’s the secret to sibling success? Apparently, an ugly divorce. At least, that’s how it went down for Ellen Umansky and her two brothers. Ellen’s parents separated when she was 9. “They loved us deeply, but there were battles to be won — emotional, reputational, financial,” Ellen wrote in her Modern Love essay. As Ellen and her brothers were flung into a new reality of parental feuds and convoluted calendar arrangements, her brothers became her “one constant and comfort.” Today’s episode is about “Team Umansky,” as Ellen’s husband calls them, a unit that has stuck together from adolescence through adulthood.
[theme music]
Dan Jones: From the New York Times, I'm Dan Jones.
Miya Lee: And I'm Miya Lee.
This is the Modern Love podcast.
Dan Jones: This week's essay really surprised me in
how it explores what creates real, lasting bonds.
You know, sometimes those bonds come from going through really hard times together.
Miya Lee: The essay is called 'The Secret to Sibling Success.'
It's written by Ellen Umansky and read by Kirsten Potter.
Kirsten Potter: Years ago, my brother and I attended the wedding of a childhood friend,
held on a high floor of a stylish San Francisco hotel.
We were standing by the floor to ceiling windows, joking with each other,
when the sister of the groom approached.
'You guys are so close,' she said.
'It must be nice.
Tell me, what can I do to make my daughters as close as you are?'
Her tone was light, but her eyes were searching.
'You want to know?' Eric said.
'I'll tell you:
You and your husband should separate,