2017-12-23
36 分钟Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish,
a weekly podcast this week coming to you from Up the Creek in Greenwich,
London my name is Dan Schreiber and I am sitting here with Anna Chazinski,
Andrew Hunter Murray and James Harkin and once again we have gathered around the microphones but this time with our four favorite Christmas facts
because it's our and in no particular order here we go starting with my fact my fact this week is
that as well as getting a visit from Santa Claus at Christmas Icelanders also get a visit from the spoon liquor the door sniffer and the sausage swiper yeah so these they do have Santa there but they also have and this is what Wikipedia says they're called yule lads they're like lads lads lads lads lads lads lads lads also sausage wiper lads lads lads lads lads they and they I think the reason Wikipedia calls them that is
because that's what they are called yeah right oh okay okay cool yeah I mean I know you've fallen for fake Wikipedia facts a lot in the past but this is real I just thought that was cool casual lingo I was like yeah I'm cool with you wiki um so yeah they're called the yule lads and there's there's 13 of them in total spoon liquor is one he um licks bowls no he licks spoons um but there is a bowl liquor there is actually a bowl liquor yeah I misread my note there um and then covered it up
like it was a joke um there there's the sausage swiper who licks spoons and then there so does the sausage swiper he swipes sausages does he yeah so he hides in the rafters of your house and
while you go and you know check for your spoons so someone's look the spoons he quickly he quickly head into the kitchen he lowers himself I think Tom Cruise style from Mission Impossible gets your sausages and then gets pulled back up to the uh to the roof and then you come back in and go ah the spoons now the sausages what's going on yeah we've had three what are the other 10 like um there's a guy who um he he harasses sheep what's his they all have very like expressive names don't they yeah his one's not so sheep coat clod is his name um yeah there's meat hook they're all thieves basically aren't they yeah just in Iceland you just have to accept the like people will come and steal all your stuff um there's pot scraper there's door the doorway sniffer is not someone who likes doorways it's just someone who's smelling beyond the doorway to try and steal your food later but they used to be way more of them so they used to be more than 80 your lads which is a lot to descend upon you and uh they're ones that were you know kiboshed about mid-century were uh falda fakir which is skirt sweeper he got the shop um and litly punga which is small testicles what did he do he just went around flattering people those are bigger than mine i've got small ones so it's yeah so do they do these guys bring you anything do they just take things away they take things well they used to take things away and back in the day in 1746 the stories became so scary
that they actually banned them from telling them to children
because they they brought them into such a sort of steven king-esque territory of fear that they said this is too much it was the danish wasn't it who did that and not only
that they banned using any stories to scare children yeah and it was because of these guys really it wasn't only because of them so have you heard of iceland's famous christmas child eating cat who prows around the country eating children on christmas day um and the the terrible thing is so you know
if you're naughty or nice you'll get you'll get presents or you get a lump of coal the child has no control over whether it's eaten or not the only thing that controls whether the child is eaten or not is whether the child got any new clothes for christmas from its parents and
if your parents didn't give you some socks you're going to be eaten there is a slight thing with that with
if you've done all of your chores by christmas day then they're supposed to give you some clothes but they they could not it just look just i'm saying it really would be a pretty harsh bit of parenting just sing it yeah it's insult to injury isn't it a you're not getting a new t-shirt and b you're about to be eaten by a giant cat yeah it was a big cat
though wasn't it it was like the size of a house and it belonged to a troll right so it was like in katie hopkins this is all still i said satire we don't do that james come on we welcome all people in our podcast um she no we honestly do not she is not invited to anything that would i'd like to publicly state katie hopkins fuck you
that uh was that satire was no it's not satire my satirical show is not going down oh hey trump fuck you hey fresh fuck you all right catch you next week on setters today what were we talking about island yeah yeah so um these these yule lads their mother is called grula um she's been married three times but she killed all of her husbands
because they bought her wow my wife is in the audience and i just like to say that's not the right way to behave and she is the mother of the yule lads no she's just my wife and she she is half ogre half troll and i am referring here to grula and their cat is christmas cat the family cat is christmas cat and the cat brings oh the yule lads sometimes grabbed children and brought them back to be turned into stew but this is all just to deter children from misbehaving it's not anything worse than what we do which is sound to him bring your presents
if you're bad um should we talk about father christmas yeah sure
because you know he is leaking sorry wow his bones father christmas has bones uh so this is sin nicolas uh and he has some relics and it's kind of debatable which relics are his but it's generally accepted