Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.” And at the time, that felt like closure. Now, 10 years later, Heather tells our host, Anna Martin, that she would write a completely different essay today. She sees her father, and herself, in a new light — and realizes that “forgiveness” isn’t as simple a concept as she once believed.
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I was at a new friend's apartment not too long ago where I told her that I haven't spoken to my father in almost four years.
She turned to me and said, I feel so sorry for him.
I froze naturally, because people normally say that they feel sorry for me when I bring up my dad.
Then she said, he's missing out on how special you are with love from.
Cartier from the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
This is modern love.
Heather Sellers wrote her modern love essay in 2013.
It was about reconnecting with her estranged, abusive father, Freddy, and she wrote it with a sense of closure as a way to make peace with their complicated relationship.
But in the ten years since Heather published her essay, her feelings have changed.
Theres something interesting about a modern love essay.
At some point it becomes an artifact, a snapshot of a particular moment in the authors life.
But what happens when time passes and that story doesnt feel true anymore?
Heather Sellers, welcome to modern love.
Thank you for having me.
So you wrote your modern love essay back in 2013.
Have you read it recently?
I haven't read it.
I didn't even read it when it was published.
Why didn't you want to read it?