Episode 17 | Post Separation Abuse

第 17 集 | 分居后虐待

The Love Doc Podcast

自我完善

2024-09-10

54 分钟

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Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.  Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. Episode 17: "Post Separation Abuse." In this deeply personal and raw episode, Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher delve into the harrowing reality of post-separation abuse, particularly when children are involved. They shed light on the abuse that often continues long after separation or divorce, manifesting in ways that are often overlooked or misunderstood by the justice system. Dr. Hensley and Raina draw from their own experiences, providing a candid discussion on how the justice system failed them in the aftermath of their separations from their children’s fathers. They recount how the courts, lacking proper professionals equipped to handle the emotional complexities of post-separation dynamics, tend to revictimize families. The episode explores the challenges surrounding child custody, time-sharing, and financial arrangements, revealing how the system frequently falls short of protecting those most vulnerable—especially the children. Challenging common misconceptions, Dr. Hensley debunks the notion that post-separation abuse is solely a male-to-female phenomenon. She highlights cases where women are the abusers post-separation, suggesting that in these instances, they may have been the abusers during the relationship as well. This perspective invites listeners to rethink the narratives often presented in cases of domestic and post-separation abuse. The discussion then turns to reactive abuse, where Dr. Hensley explains how extreme stress and provocation can drive individuals to act violently, often in ways that are completely out of character. This phenomenon, she argues, is a critical aspect of understanding the dynamics of abusive relationships and the fallout that can occur even after separation. The impact of post-separation abuse on children is a central theme in the episode. Dr. Hensley emphasizes the long-term effects on children who are used as pawns in their parents' conflicts, which can lead to significant emotional and psychological problems as they grow up. She explores the psychology of abusers, who often manipulate reality to the point of believing their own lies, perpetuating a cycle of abuse that can have devastating consequences for their children. Dr. Hensley also distinguishes between attachment issues and personality disorders, such as narcissism, explaining how the latter can make co-parenting nearly impossible. She argues that the court system is often ill-equipped to recognize these psychological nuances, leading to decisions that may not be in the best interest of the children. The episode underscores the need for professionals trained in psychology, rather than solely relying on legal experts, to make informed decisions in family court cases. As the episode draws to a close, Dr. Hensley and Raina discuss the deep injustices within the family court system, particularly the ease with which false allegations can be weaponized to alienate and control. Raina shares her own painful experience of being falsely accused, detailing the profound impact it had on her and her young son.  In the final segment, Dr. Hensley advocates for systemic change, calling for the inclusion of doctorate-level professionals, skilled in psychologic

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