This is the illusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, rescue language from a burning building.
This is the first of two episodes talking about a word that has shaped the wiring of my brain since my brain began, and not in a good way.
I don't think I'll ever be able to fully unwire it, but this is a bit of help.
Content note this episode contains discussions of body size, body image, weight, fat, and anti fatness.
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There was one day my job was to bring in, like, a little sweet treat on people's birthdays, and there was one person who loved donuts the most.
So I came in with two boxes of donuts for the office to pass around at our staff meeting to celebrate this person's birthday.
And I walked into the office, and one of my coworkers looked at me and said, oh, are those for you or to share?
And I was like, this is like two baker's dozens.
This is 26 donuts.
Somewhere in this person's mind is just me tucking a napkin into my collar with a fork and knife and just going to town on 26 donuts for like, one meal and then being like.
Okay, what's for lunch?