So throughout my life I've had this recurring dream.
It starts out with me being in my front yard and coming down the street is a wild bull.
It's typically white in color and it's just on a terror.
Running around the neighborhood, smashing up cars, knocking down trees, trampling everything in its path.
Nothing can stop it.
And then it for some reason turns and looks at me and I can tell it's coming from me.
I mean, it's so wild.
It's like falling down, tumbling, running into houses and stuff, trying to turn to come towards me.
So I quickly run into the house, slam the door shut, lock it, and then go to the window to look to see what's going on.
But the bull just runs right up to my house, hits the front door and just busts through it like it's paper.
It's suddenly in my house and it's trying hard to turn corners and navigate through my house to get to me.
But it's falling down and smashing into walls and furniture and I'm frantically trying to find a safe place to go.
But every room I go into, it just smashes through those doors or windows to get to where I am.
I keep going into room after room, shutting doors, locking it, but it just keeps getting in.
I usually wake up around here heart racing.
I'm in a panic.
And what I often feel after this dream is helplessness.
Complete vulnerability.
There's no place that feels safe.
And it doesn't matter how many locked doors I have or hiding places I know of, that bull always finds me and smashes its way to me.