When Laura Cathcart Robbins checked into rehab for a severe Ambien addiction, all she could think about was getting out and going home to her two young sons. Laura was also in the middle of a divorce and facing a possible custody battle so she wasn’t looking to make her life more complicated. Laura tells the host Anna Martin about the unexpected bond she formed during the worst 30 days of her life and what happened when she came out the other side. This episode is adapted from Laura’s 2024 essay, “Marriage Made an Actor Out of Me.” Her memoir, “Stash: My Life in Hiding” is available now, and she hosts a podcast called “The Only One in the Room.” What were your worst dates of 2024? We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what do you want to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? You don’t have to be single to share your story. If you’re partnered and went on an awful date, we want to hear from you, too. Send us your story by recording a voice memo (just a few minutes long) and emailing it to modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Please include your name and where you’re from. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story
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From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.
This is Modern Love.
Every week we bring you stories and conversations inspired by the Modern Love column.
We talk about lovers, families, friendships, and all the messiness of human relationships.
Today, I'm talking to a Modern Love essayist named Laura Cathcart Robbins about what happened when she did two difficult things at the same time.
The first one was to ask her husband for a divorce.
This was about 16 years ago.
And from the outside, the life Laura had with her husband seemed like a dream.
He was a big time movie and TV director, and that came with a fancy Hollywood lifestyle.
But just to get through the day in that world, Laura felt like she had to pretend she was someone else.
I think the anxiety around my marriage was that I might not be the right person to be in it, you know, and every single, you know, day that went by, I discovered more things that about myself that didn't align with where I was.
Laura was acting like she loved doing things she really hated.
Hosting parties, decorating the house, showing up to the school pickup line with exactly the right car and the right outfit.
There was a way to be in that world.
You know, there was a sameness to the people in the world.
And a lot of the people in that world, Most of them, 95% of them, were white.
So I was already the black one.
Laura couldn't take it any longer, so she told her husband she wanted out.
Okay, so that was the first hard thing Laura did.