This episode is brought to you by Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code VALERIA at https://www.LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Valeria sits down with her close friend, Aleks Malkin, to discuss the beauty and complexities of life's choices, personal growth, and the paths not taken. The episode dives deep into themes of self-reflection, hyper-independence, and the power of vulnerability, as the two friends share stories of their past, the defining moments that shaped them, and how their perspectives on life have evolved over the years. Aleks opens up about her journey with motherhood, marriage, and the importance of allowing oneself to feel deeply, even if it means facing uncomfortable truths. Valeria shares her own experiences of contemplating the "what ifs" in life, questioning the different paths she could have taken, and the realization that some choices were necessary for her growth. They explore how childhood experiences and societal expectations have influenced their definitions of love, success, and identity, and how they’re striving to create a more authentic and fulfilling life. Follow Aleks on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aleksmalkin/ Mentioned: Byron Katie’s The Work: https://thework.com/ Awareness by Anthony DeMello https://a.co/d/gfyPX0Q Chloe Macintosh: https://www.instagram.com/chloe_macintosh/ Inside Out 2: https://www.disneyplus.com/movies/inside-out-2/6MeZYf9JkFii Shop my look from this episode: https://liketk.it/4JhPf What We Talked About: 00:00 Intro 01:36 Weekend contemplation 03:52 What could I have done differently? 07:24 Taking alone time 12:06 Self-awareness 14:11 Losing yourself in being a mother 17:08 The 4-Question Inquiry 21:13 Pause and then process the situation 22:02 Somatic way to heal 26:31 You model your values 27:49 How to raise a daughter 30:46 What younger you would have wanted 35:10 Hyper-independence as a coping mechanism 39:04 Pleasure has become synonymous to shame 43:07 The generation that needs a lot of self-work 45:42 Having comfortable conversations with your parents 47:05 Conversation with your mom 52:17 Compassion and space for people 56:06 It’s about creating a safe environment 01:00:56 How do you define real friendships 01:02:37 Are you still working on yourself? 01:03:40 Back from a social media break 01:07:25 Allow things to come to you 01:14:49 How do you give advice to someone? 01:20:23 What’s your purpose? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices