‘Always pass the salt and pepper together, even if your fellow diner has asked just for one of them’. That’s the standard advice given by countless dining etiquette manuals, one of the many rules regarding proper manners that have been handed down from generation to generation. But what if some of the rules have become outdated, silly or just wrong? And why do we have etiquette in the first place? Where do the rules of polite conduct come from and are they the same the world over? Iszi Lawrence follows the story of etiquette across time and over several continents with the help of Annick Paternoster, Lecturer at the University of Lugano in Switzerland who has a special interest in the history of politeness; Professor Daniel Kadar from Dalian University of Foreign Languages in China, the HUN-REN Hungarian Research Centre for Linguistics, and the University of Maribor in Slovenia; Courtney Traub, author and editor of the travel website Paris Unlocked; Japanese writer and cultural commentator Manami Okazaki; former Chief of Protocol at the Foreign Ministry of Grenada Alice Thomas-Roberts; and Forum listeners from around the world. (Photo: Business people shake hands. Credit: iStock/Getty Images Plus)
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Welcome to the Forum from the BBC World Service.
I'm Izzy Lawrence.
When we're little, our parents, grandparents and teachers tell us how to behave.
They teach us what they think are the timeless basics of good manners, of etiquette.
But are they?
When I was little, my parents made me curtsy, especially when we met my aunt, who also my godmother, and I absolutely hated that.
It was just so horrible.
And for years and years I had to do that.
Guinea, Burundi.
If you visit a newborn baby before you leave them up, you are supposed to give them money.
If not, they say, you will catch some diseases or misfortune.
When I was little, I remember my mother telling me when we are seated and about to stay or just halfway through eating, I decide to move to another chair.