What We Learned: Friday 4 October

我们学到了什么:10 月 4 日星期五

The Curator

新闻

2024-10-04

5 分钟
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A round-up of this week’s news stories, including Donald Trump-branded watches, the US vice-presidential debate and a former leader of Turkmenistan turns from hip-hop to poetry. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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  • We learned this week that our search for an opening fanfare was once again going to be made that much easier by yet another artist wishing out loud that Donald Trump would desist from playing their songs at his rallies, at which he says words to delirious yokels.

  • In this instance, venerable boogie dispenser's little feet, who, it seems, though they may be keen, as the song declaims, to let it rol are less willing to let it slide.

  • Is that anything?

  • Tough crowd.

  • Just got an old wrist watch on.

  • My own we continue to learn, however, that of all the words which may be accurately applied to Donald Trump, once prefixed with unhing, hinged, glued, moored, balanced, and so forth, daunted was not among them.

  • 4 We learned that despite a long succession of Trump branded products which have turned out to be scams, duds and or failures, one thinks of Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Magazine, Trump Vodka, Trump Sneakers, Trump Coins.

  • Eric he now proposed to bring to market Trump Watches the Trump Victory Tourbillon.

  • This isn't just any watch.

  • It's one of the best watches made.

  • It's a tourbillon watch with almost 200 grams of gold and more than 100 real diamonds.

  • That's a lot of diamonds.

  • I love gold.

  • I love diamonds.

  • We all do.

  • We learned when we looked into the purchase of one such the office Secret Santa being really only a few weeks off, that the asking price is and you may want to repair to the fainting couch for this one actual hundred actual thousand actual actual US Actual dollars.

  • Still, we, for one whimsical news monologue, are absolutely certain that said timepieces represent outstanding and lasting value and are absolutely not dubious knockoffs hastily plastered with Trump branding in some grim Guangzhou sweatshop with a view to parting fools from the contents of their wallets.

  • Honestly, does that sound like the sort of scheme that Donald Trump would ever lend his name to?

  • Does it?

  • And no, we will not at this time be rising above a joke about Trump watchers having unusually small hands.