In the third and final class of our course on how to make the most of your friendships, we offer guidance for what to do when things go wrong.
Hey, welcome back to try this from the Washington Post.
I'm Christina Quinn, here with our final class in this three part course on making the most of our friendships.
We've covered a lot so far, from assessing the state of our friendships to why we need to get out of our comfort zone.
In this last class, we'll help you figure out what to do when a friendship goes wrong.
Well be hearing again from Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn hacks and friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson.
We wanted to tackle this subject because sometimes these snags can really blindside us.
We dont expect them, but Carolyn says theyre in the expectation lies the rub.
Is there a common problem that readers come to you about when it comes to their friendships?
I think most friendship questions are fundamentally about a failure to understand your friend is somebody completely different from you, and you set your expectations based on how you feel or what you want from the friendship or what you've been taught.
A friendship is supposed to be this person should do x, this person should do y.
Or am I wrong to expect z?
And the answer is you're always wrong to expect something that isn't happening.
Even if somebody's doing something or not doing something wrong, it is always your fault.
If you're expecting change from a place where no change is coming.
It's a spicy take.
It's a spicy take.
Is it just because the nature of expecting something is inherently flawed?
I think just the nature of sitting back and waiting for other people to solve your problems.
Because if you're waiting for what should happen, you better be settled in for a long wait because it's not up to you how your friend treats you.
You get to decide how you act with your friend.