The Cure for Self-Importance

治愈自我重要感的方法

Hidden Brain

社会科学

2024-08-06

51 分钟
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When we meet new people, we’re often drawn to those with a commanding presence or a dazzling personality. But it turns out that a very different trait — humility — is important in the long term. This week, in the first of a two-part discussion, we talk with psychologist Daryl Van Tongeren about different kinds of humility, and how this overlooked quality can play a powerful role in workplace dynamics and romantic relationships.
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  • This is hidden brain.

  • I'm Shankar Vedantam.

  • Whenever a group of people come together, there are always a few who steal the limelight.

  • They may be gregarious and outgoing, or funnier or more athletic, but I've noticed over the years that the people who are the center of attention on day one are very often not the center of their groups by day 62 or day 912.

  • This is true of college students, new employees at a company, even family.

  • Over time, the accomplished musician turns out to be a one note opera.

  • The athlete who dazzled on day one starts to sound boring.

  • The great storyteller turns out he has only a dozen stories, and he keeps telling them over and over again.

  • In time, groups often gravitate to the people who are connectors, the folks who are genuinely interested in others.

  • They are often great listeners.

  • These are people who put others first, who don't imagine they know everything.

  • This week on hidden brain and in a companion story on our subscription feed, hidden Brain plus, we examine the science and psychology of humility.

  • It's a quality that is often underappreciated on day one, but much in demand over the long haul.

  • And while most of us don't associate humble people with being particularly brave, new scientific research shows that humility usually walks hand in hand with courageous support.

  • For hidden brain comes from jobs.

  • Ohio in partnership with the state of Ohio.

  • What would make someone move from California to Ohio?

  • Maybe it's the comfortable, convenient lifestyle or the low cost of living.

  • Or maybe it's the job, that next big opportunity you've been wanting for a while now.

  • If you're a tech pro considering your next move, Ohio deserves to be on your list.