2024-03-27
30 分钟This is Part 4 in a 4 Part Series on Navigating Needs In Relationships In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the art of saying no and creating boundaries without pain. They emphasize the importance of saying no to requests from our partners compassionately, to maintain connection and avoid resentment. They explore the concept of resentful accommodation, where we meet the needs of others at the expense of our own needs and desires. The hosts provide examples of how resentful accommodation can manifest in relationships and the negative impact it can have. They also offer a three-step framework for compassionately saying no and finding a win-win solution. Takeaways: Saying no to our partner's requests is important for maintaining connection and avoiding resentment. Resentful accommodation, where we meet the needs of others at the expense of our own needs, is a losing strategy. It is essential to know and express our own needs and desires in order to have a balanced and intimate relationship. A three-step framework for saying no compassionately includes receiving the request as a gift, stating the need behind the no, and searching for a win-win solution. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 00:59 Importance of Saying No 04:14 Resentful Accommodation 05:24 Examples of Resentful Accommodation 06:22 Losing Strategy 07:20 Question: What if I can't always meet my partner's needs? 10:06 Resentful Accommodation and Insecurity 12:28 Resentful Accommodation in Family Situations 13:51 Feeling Resentful at Family Gatherings 15:44 Complex Emotion of Resentment 19:34 Knowing Our Needs and Desires 20:58 Framework for Saying No 21:50 Step 1: Receive the Request as a Gift 23:44 Step 2: State the Need Behind the No 25:38 Step 3: Search for a Win-Win 27:27 Balancing Needs and Staying Connected 29:22 Conclusion and Call to Action Mentioned in this episode: Yearly Goal-Setting Workbook for Couples Yearly Goal-Setting Workbook for Couples: Create Your Strongest Year Yet as a Couple Get Intentional With Your Relationship in 2025: Download our exact blueprint to aligning your values and planning your year, with our 2025 Yearly Couples Planning & Alignment Workbook—just $19. BONUS OFFER: Purchase before January 1, 2025 and receive an exclusive invitation to join us live where we will answer all your questions at our OWN planning retreat on January 4th! Get a behind-the-scenes look at exactly how we use these same tools in our own marriage -every year.