Two women who have ADHD—one’s a psychologist and the other a life coach—describe what the disorder is and how it messes with the brain’s executive functions, like inhibition and emotional regulation. They give advice for managing the symptoms, asking for help at work, and what to do if what we’re talking about sounds an awful lot like your life.
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I have ADHD myself, My daughter does, my granddaughters do, my sister does and we all look very different.
But I can tell you that it's a real task for me to stay focused on anything, on something I'm working on because I have a very creative brain in which ideas are pinging all the time.
Kathleen Nadeau is a psychologist who for the past 40 some odd years has specialized in the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.
Her mission is to help people, above all girls and women, understand and deal with the disorder because we're the ones doctors have historically underdiagnosed and undertreated.
Why?
The Duke center for Girls and Women with ADHD says that boys are twice as likely to get a referral as girls because boys with ADHD tend to be hyperactive and impulsive and therefore disruptive.
I had a younger brother, this is true in my case, who was so hyperactive he was always leaving the yard as a toddler.
My mother was tearing her hair out because he just had derome.
That's why they get all the attention.
Girls with ADHD tend to be inattentive and they also tend to develop coping skills that hide their symptoms.
I've had girls tell me I always look at the teacher because I know I'll get in trouble if I'm not looking at her.
But I'm not always listening to the teacher, so they're aware of having to pretend and accommodate.
The gender gap, the Duke center notes, appears to go away in adulthood when women can simply ask to be assessed.
If only the process were that simple.
Diagnosed or not, researchers estimate that somewhere between 2 and 5% of adults have this disorder, which messes with people's ability to remember stuff, manage their time, do paperwork, communicate clearly, maintain relationships.
The list is long without proper diagnosis and care, NYU's adult ADHD program warns, ADHD can create personal and professional difficulties.
What sort of professional difficulties?
Let me share some of the titles I found when I scrolled through the ADHD women subreddit.