Think Again: Why people lose themselves in parenthood — and how to reclaim your sense of self

再想一想:为什么人们在为人父母的过程中迷失自我——以及如何找回自我意识

Apple News In Conversation

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2023-08-18

29 分钟
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You’ve prepped the nursery, read all the books, and are eagerly waiting to meet the new member of your family. But are you also ready to meet the new version of yourself? For Apple News In Conversation’s Think Again series, host Shumita Basu talks to Jessica Grose, author of Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood, about the ways parenthood can change you, the lack of societal support for this seismic life shift, and how reconnecting with your sense of self can help you navigate it.
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  • This is in conversation from Apple News.

  • I'm Shemitah Basu.

  • Today for our Think Again series, reconnecting with your sense of self in parenthood.

  • I read this article a couple of months back about millennials struggling to make their way through adulthood, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

  • It was by Jessica Gross, who writes about parenting and all things affecting the American family today for the New York Times.

  • And it wasn't a knock on Millennials.

  • It was a smart analysis of all the bigger societal changes that have made everything from buying a house to raising a family fundamentally different than it was for past generations.

  • Jessica says there was one statistic in particular that made her want to write that piece.

  • The silent generation, who are in their 80s and 90s now.

  • When they were at 40, around 70% of them lived with a spouse and a child in a household.

  • And the comparable percentage for millennials is 30%.

  • That's a huge shift over not a very long period of time.

  • That insight, for her, unlocked a new way of thinking about the challenges of of modern parenthood.

  • And I think a lot of people were sold this idea that if you just follow the right steps, you will have the stereotypical American dream.

  • And it's not to say that that's not still possible.

  • It just doesn't look like what it used to look like.

  • The milestones are moving, goalposts shifting, and that makes the personal transition into parenthood, as well as our shared vision of what parenting should look like, even more unclear.

  • It's like we're working with an outdated roadmap.

  • I never want to look at these massive changes as all bad or all good.

  • They're just changes.