When We Face the End of Life, ‘It’s Not Sadness We Should Fear. It’s Regret.’

当我们面对生命的终结时,“我们不应该害怕悲伤”。 这是遗憾。

The Opinions

新闻

2025-01-09

17 分钟
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Sarah Wildman on the conversation that was missing during her daughter’s cancer treatment.
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  • Hi, I'm Josh Haner and I'm a staff photographer at the New York Times covering climate change.

  • For years, we've sort of imagined this picture of a polar bear floating on a piece of ice.

  • Those have been the images associated with climate change.

  • My challenge is to find stories that show you how climate change is affecting our world right now.

  • If you want to support the kind of journalism that we're working on here on the climate and Environment desk at the New York Times, please subscribe on our website or our app.

  • This is the Opinions, a show that brings you a mix of voices from New York Times opinion.

  • You've heard the news.

  • Here's what to make of it.

  • My name is Sarah Wildman and I'm an editor and writer for New York Times Opinion.

  • For the last several years, I've written a number of extremely personal essays on childhood cancer.

  • The first week of March of 2020, my whole family, my daughters, Orly and Hannah, and my partner Ian, went to Miami for a long weekend.

  • We knew that Orlie, who had been fighting liver cancer at that point for over two years, was facing another relapse.

  • This was her third.

  • And that first day at the beach, she ran down to the waves and came back and we stretched out on loungers.

  • And then she turned to me and said, what if this is the best I ever feel again in the moment when Orlie asked me on the beach that question, my immediate thought was, no, Orly, that's.

  • No, that won't be.

  • 376 days later, just about three months after Orly turned 14, she died.

  • In the time since she left us, I've often thought about Orly's question.

  • All that spring, she would ask me, why did I really believe the cancer was gone, that it wouldn't just come back again and again?

  • And underneath that question was a bigger Were we going to crush it ever?