How a young Dutch woman’s life began when she was allowed to die

一位年轻荷兰女性的生命始于她被允许离世之际

The Audio Long Read

社会与文化

2025-02-14

38 分钟
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At the last minute, Zoë decided to call off her euthanasia. But how do you start over after you’ve said all of your goodbyes? By Stephanie Bakker. Read by Micky Overman. Help support our independent journalism at theguardian.com/longreadpod
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  • This is the Guardian.

  • Welcome to the Guardian Long read showcasing the best long form journalism covering culture, politics and new thinking.

  • For the text version of this and all our longreads, go to theguardian.com longread this article mentions suicide and contains themes that some listeners may find upsetting.

  • Take care when listening How a Young Dutch Woman's Life Began when she was Allowed to Die by Stephanie Bocker, translated by Laura Frohman and read by Mickey Overman.

  • Zoe's name has been changed.

  • It was a sunny summer morning when Zoe opened the countdown calendar on her phone.

  • There it was.

  • Zero days, seven hours, another seven hours.

  • That's the downside of desperately wanting something.

  • The wait seems to take forever.

  • To kill some time, she went for a stroll along the canals of Leiden.

  • This will be my last time here, she thought to herself.

  • She sauntered past an organic chip shop, a restaurant, and the Cafe Terrace, which she'd had the occasional G and T over the previous few weeks.

  • It was 19 June 2023, the day Zoe, who was 22, was allowed to die.

  • Her original choice had been the 18th for the symbolic significance of the number with the one she was putting herself first with the eight, the infinity sign on its side.

  • She was doing so for all eternity.

  • When the psychiatrist called to say that her euthanasia would be happening a day later, she had an 18 tattooed on her neck.

  • Zoe crossed the street back to the hospice where she had spent the past few weeks.

  • A black hearse nosed out of the alleyway leading to the garden.

  • She stopped in her tracks.