The Conversations that Bring Us Closer

拉近彼此距离的对话

Hidden Brain

社会科学

2025-02-18

49 分钟
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Last week on the show, we looked at the science of conversation, and how even ordinary chats can involve a delicate dance of coordination. This week, we explore the discussions we all dread: the tough ones. Telling someone they treated us poorly. Demanding a raise. Taking away an elderly relative's car keys. We talk with Alison Wood Brooks about what makes difficult conversations difficult, and a series of psychological techniques to help you navigate them.
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  • This is Hidden Brain.

  • I'm Shankar Vedantam.

  • There's an iconic episode of the TV show Seinfeld where the character George muses

  • about a woman who treated him poorly.

  • She took advantage of his romantic interest in her, treated him like trash, and then discarded him.

  • George begins fantasizing to his friend Jerry Seinfeld about what he would tell the woman

  • if he met her again.

  • He would remind her of all the ways she treated him.

  • Like dirt.

  • He would stand up for himself.

  • He would insist that she respect his dignity and apologize.

  • Since this is comedy, George, of course,

  • runs into the woman shortly thereafter at a social gathering.

  • Instead of being brave and forthright, he is meek and obsequious.

  • He allows her to run right over him all over again.

  • But in that same scene, another woman comes up to Jerry Seinfeld.

  • She went on a date with him long ago, and she felt he did not treat her well.

  • She tells him what George had meant to say.

  • Remember me?

  • I'm sorry, Mary Kentardy.