It's Wednesday, March 5th.
I'm Jane Coston, and this is what a day.
A show that did not expect President Donald Trump to become bizarro.
Oprah scholarships, Secret Service badges, wildlife refuges.
It's all happening on today's show.
We're talking about President Trump's first speech to the American people.
And the speech was, well, it was a speech, the longest joint session speech in history, and you felt every single minute of it with lots of capital letters.
It was a speech in which Trump emphasized that contrary to what you, me, Texas Democratic Representative Al Green, or millions of people think, everything is actually awesome.
Super awesome.
Except for Democrats, who are mean.
I look at the Democrats in front of me and I realize there is absolutely nothing I can say to make them happy or to make them stand or smile or applaud.
Nothing I can do.
It was a campaign speech, which is weird because the campaign is over.
It's been over.
But not for Donald Trump, who felt the need to bring up former President Joe Biden, Stacey Abrams, and the nation of Lesotho.
He brought up Biden a whole lot, actually, in the context of the economy, which he described as being way, way worse than I seem to remember, and immigration.
The media and our friends in the Democrat Party kept saying we needed new legislation, we must have legisl to secure the border.
But it turned out that all we really needed was a new president.
Ew.
But we did learn some fascinating, brand new, super fun things like that apparently trans kids are one of our biggest threats, a thing I absolutely do not believe for a goddamn second.