How do you let go of resentment? Do apologies even work? And what grievances have Stephen and Angela been nursing for years?
I can't believe an educated person would think like this.
I'm Angela Duckworth.
I'm Stephen Dubner and you're listening to.
No stupid questions today on the show.
Is holding a grudge really worth it?
Come on in.
The grudge water is fine.
Angela, we have a question today.
It's short and sweet from one Bobby Fortinelli.
He writes to say, my wife holds grudges indefinitely, although thankfully, none against me.
Why do some people hold grudges and not others?
How does one let go of grudges?
Ps, Bobby writes, I'm sending in this question with my wife's blessing.
That's a preemptive.
Don't hold a grudge against me for asking Angie and Stephen about grudges.
So, Angela, why do some people hold grudges and not others knowable?
You know, there is a research literature on grudges.
I don't know why some people are grudge holders, other than to speculate that given this is about ruminating, and given that a lot of people involuntarily hold on to grudges, kind of despite themselves, my guess is that people who are worse at emotion regulation and lower in emotional stability are probably more likely to be grudge holders.
I think, roughly speaking, a grudge is the opposite of forgiveness.
Right?