The Tale Of The Wicked Stepmother

Dear Sugars

情感与人际关系

2016-03-28

43 分钟
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There's a long tradition in fairy tales of the wicked stepmother. And the archetype endures in contemporary life. The Sugars take on two real-life versions of the tale — a mother whose ex-husband's new wife wants the children to call her "mom," and a stepmom who feels trapped in the role of the storybook villain.
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  • So, Cheryl, some years ago, I was asked to submit an essay on fairy tales, something I knew absolutely nothing about.

  • And in the course of that, I did a bunch of research.

  • And one of the things that I uncovered that I just hadn't thought about at all was kind of the unique history of how step mothers are portrayed.

  • There's a long tradition, as we know, in fairy tales of the wicked stepmother.

  • It's just an archetype.

  • And that arises actually from very particular economic and familial dynamics in the Middle Ages.

  • Basically, if there was a stepmother who came into a family, she was suddenly competing with the children economically for the inheritance, with the children of the husband.

  • And really, what was so interesting in thinking about it is, okay, but that's medieval times.

  • Why is it that this archetype of the wicked stepmother somehow still exists in our culture?

  • And it's partly because we keep recycling these fairy tales, but it's also, I think, because the idealization of the mother figure is one of the persistent myths that we've been unable to cleave ourselves from.

  • And it's only become more extreme in a sense, because as we've discussed and hear in so many letters, mothers of all sorts hold themselves to an impossible standard.

  • I feel like that modern myth is colliding with that longer standing traditional myth of the stepmother as an inherently suspect, morally suspect figure.

  • And today, that's what we're going to talk about.

  • Step monsters.

  • Right.

  • But really, also, I mean, I think the dynamic I've observed in fairy tales, being a motherless daughter, I'm attuned to this particular aspect of the narrative, which is there really is no more vulnerable a figure as a motherless child.

  • Okay.

  • Because the mother is the primal, essential protector and provider of unconditional love.

  • And then we have in fairy tales at least the stepmother who, if she gives love, it's at least for a while, conditional.