The Secret Lives Of Lovers

Dear Sugars

情感与人际关系

2016-03-19

42 分钟
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The Sugars take a question from a newly married woman who is facing a nightmare — the man of her dreams has turned out to be someone else entirely. They are joined by the writer Julie Metz, who tells the story of discovering her own husband's double life following his unexpected death. She helps in answering the letter writer's ultimate question: do I stay and make a life with a man who is not the person I thought I married?
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  • Dear sugar is supported by.

  • When I was 43 years old, my husband died suddenly.

  • He was 44.

  • We had a young child, and after six months of grieving process as a widow, I discovered that he had kept secrets from me, that he had been involved with a woman in my town who was the mother of my daughter's best friend, and also with other women as well.

  • So the betrayal was on many levels.

  • That was Julie, Matt's author of Perfection, a memoir of betrayal and Renewal.

  • Hi, Steve.

  • Hi, Cheryl.

  • We're going to be talking today about the secret lives of lovers.

  • Yes.

  • Not garden variety infidelity, which is painful enough, but really the kind of worst case scenario when you find out your intimate partner is living a double life, essentially.

  • Right.

  • I've been thinking about it because the letter that we're going to talk about is a big, complicated letter in which, you know, as Julie speaks to a lover, appears to be, by all indications, one thing and is suddenly revealed as something else.

  • You know, we always are discovering new things about the people we're with a little bit at a time.

  • But sometimes, in some instances, it's sudden and calamitous, and it completely blindsides people.

  • Will you read us the letter?

  • I will.

  • I will read you this letter.

  • It's a long one, as you would say.

  • It's a bruiser.