Relationships 2.0: How To Keep Conflict From Spiraling

关系2.0:如何防止冲突升级

Hidden Brain

社会科学

2022-11-01

53 分钟
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When it comes to conflict, most of us just want to shut it down. But psychological research is increasingly taking a different approach to discord, with profound implications for disputes big and small. This week, we kick off our Relationships 2.0 series by asking: what if we stop trying to eliminate conflict and instead ask, how can we do conflict better?
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  • This is hidden brain.

  • I'm Shankar Vedantam.

  • No matter how hard we try to avoid them, conflicts are everywhere.

  • Kids squabble over breakfast at the kitchen table.

  • Colleagues bicker in a team meeting.

  • Nations clash across the globe.

  • For many of us, our first impulse when it comes to conflict is to ask, how can I shut it down?

  • How can I resolve it?

  • This impulse makes sense.

  • Conflict is uncomfortable and unpleasant.

  • It produces hurt and animosity.

  • It can destroy relationships.

  • But sometimes the roots of antagonism and anger are so deeply entrenched that avoiding conflict isn't possible.

  • And trying to reach a happy place of agreement and love isn't realistic.

  • Increasingly, psychological research is taking a different approach to discord, with profound implications for disputes big and small.

  • This week on Hidden Brain, we kick off a series that we are calling relationships 2.0.

  • Today, what if we set aside the goal of eliminating conflict and instead ask, how can we do conflict better?

  • Think back to the last time you found yourself in an argument with someone.

  • It might have been over something trivial, like a parking spot on a crowded street.

  • Or it might have been serious, like the best path forward for a company or a marriage.