This is hidden brain.
I'm Shankar Vedantam.
Countless times every day, people ask us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.
We tell a barista what coffee we want.
We explain to co workers how they can help us with a project we share with family members which movie we want to watch.
But sometimes our answers don't reveal what we really want, and our opinions don't match how we really feel.
We may stay silent when a family member says something obnoxious.
We might groan internally at a coworker's bad joke but say nothing aloud.
I remember an incident not long ago.
I was on a Zoom call with a group of people, and one of them said something that made me uncomfortable.
But this person clearly did not realize they were saying anything wrong.
And I didn't want to jump into the conversation and say what I really thought.
Let it slide.
I thought, it's not a big deal.
There are plenty of scenarios where this strategy makes sense.
Hiding the way we feel can serve as social lubricant.
It helps keep the peace.
But what happens when such behavior multiplies beyond the individual to entire societies?
What happens when large numbers of people disagree with something that is happening, but each of them, in their own heart, says, you, know what?
Forget it.