This is hidden brain.
I'm Shankar Vedantam.
In the early hours of the morning, when the air is heavy and the ticking clock runs slow, Randy Gardner would step out into his yard.
He would stand beside the giant cactuses he'd planted and listen to the cars that whiz by on Highway 54, which runs behind his home in San Diego.
Standing in the moonlit shadows, he would call out in agony.
I would go out in the backyard at three in the morning and scream my head off like a wild animal.
Many people are familiar with the suffering Randy experienced.
There's a lonely communion that binds those who plead with the gods at 03:00 in the morning.
No one can help you.
No one can make you feel better.
No one can do anything.
It's like you're going insane.
But Randy also knew he was different from everyone else.
Many years ago, as a rebellious teenager, he tempted those very same gods.
His punishment, he understood, was payback.
Thank you again.
Welcome.
Have a lovely day.
I was in San Diego recently for a conference.
I had some downtime, so I decided to visit someone I'd been wanting to meet for a long time.