2023-12-24
1 小时 5 分钟Sometimes just remembering why we got together in the first place after 40, 50 years goes a long way toward then assuming goodwill in the person.
We forget that, yeah, love was once very passionate.
We had a great time.
Here's all the things we used to do.
How do we still do that?
We forget to have fun.
We forget why we chose this person in the first place.
Could just be as simple as saying, here are five reasons why I'm still with you after all of these years.
Or here are five things that it still, still made me choose you back then and why I'd still choose you today.
Couples have those conversations.
It can go a long way toward really just reminding them, yeah, this is what it's all about and why we're still together.
So here's a fact that really surprised me.
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but there's research that suggests that arranged marriages actually get happy over time.
And meanwhile, satisfaction declines over time for many couples who marry for love.
So how do we wrap our modern notion around how the best relationships begin and really connect it with the idea that some of the happiest couples out there started out as total strangers, that their marriages were arranged by someone else?
Turns out when people commit to long term partnership knowing little about each other, they're actually much more motivated to work harder at building the relationship.
And that connection often deepens from there over time rather than falls apart.
On the other hand, in more love or romance initiated relationships, the opposite more often happens.
Long term relationships, they are complicated, yet when we get them right, they are so profoundly rewarding.
Which is why I'm so excited to welcome Amy Marin as my guest today.