The Science of a Deeply-Connected Marriage | Eli Finkel

深居简出的婚姻科学|伊莱·芬克尔

Good Life Project

自我完善

2023-04-03

1 小时 7 分钟
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The science is crystal clear, deep, genuine, healthy and enduring relationships are at the center of a well-lived life. But, so often, it’s the long-term intimate partnerships that we take most for granted or give least attentiveness to. Just assuming they’ll keep on keeping on. Until they don’t. So how DO you keep your relationship with someone you hope to be a life partner not just alive, but truly rich and flourishing and nourishing and joyful? Especially over a period of years or, if you’re fortunate enough, decades? What’s the secret to maintaining passion and connection throughout the years? That’s where we’re headed in this eye-opening conversation with professor Eli Finkel, as we dive deep into the world of romantic relationships. Eli is the author of the bestselling book The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. You'll discover: The surprising impact of engaging in exciting, out-of-the-ordinary activities on relationship satisfaction and passion.How to distinguish between activities that foster closeness and those that reignite desire.The unexpected benefits of breaking out of routines and embracing new challenges together. And, lots more. During our conversation, we delve into the intricacies of maintaining passion in long-term relationships, discussing the importance of novelty, and exploring the potential benefits of breaking out of routines in the aftermath of the pandemic. Eli shares valuable insights on how couples can be deliberate about rebooting their relationships and resetting priorities, all while creating meaningful connections and lasting memories. You can find Eli at: Website | Twitter If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about love and marriage. Check out our offerings & partners:  My New Book SparkedMy New Podcast SPARKED. Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  • What can we as individuals do to try to make our marriages better?

  • And one of them is basically things like attribution.

  • So your partner does a thing and you don't like it.

  • It's sort of up to you to say, like, what did it mean?

  • I mean, events happen.

  • I'm not denying that facts exist, but they don't interpret themselves.

  • We interpret events, we interpret facts.

  • And I find that a little bit nerve wracking because it can sound blaming of the people who are not having success.

  • Another way of thinking about it that I like every bit as much is how empowering is that.

  • Like, we have a huge amount of ability to shape things for better.

  • So the science is crystal clear.

  • Deep, genuine, healthy and enduring relationships.

  • They're at the center of a life well lived.

  • But so often it's those long term intimate partnerships that we take most for granted or give the least attentiveness to.

  • Just kind of assuming they'll keep on keeping on until they don't.

  • So how do you keep your relationships with someone you hope to be a life partner, not just alive but truly rich and flourishing and nourishing and joyful, especially over a period of years, or if you're fortunate enough, decades, maybe even your entire life?

  • What's the secret to maintaining passion and connection throughout the years?

  • That is where we're headed in this eye opening conversation with Professor Eli Finkel as we dive into the world of romantic relationships.

  • So Eli is the author of the best selling book the all or Nothing Marriage, how the best marriages work, and as a professor at Northwestern University.

  • With appointments in the psychology department and Kellogg School of Management, he's dedicated his career to studying romantic relationships.