2023-02-13
1 小时 6 分钟Your commitment to resolving your pain is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children, no matter how old they are, no matter how young they are.
It does not matter that if you start or continue this work, that is the greatest gift that you can offer them.
And so grace and compassion, accountability and ownership.
That, to me, is the definition of self love, right?
The intersection of those.
We must hold ourselves accountable, and we must see ourselves as human beings, right?
Who are allowed to make mistakes and move through this world and relationships imperfectly.
So what if you were unknowingly being controlled by unresolved pain from your past, even minor or momentary experiences, ones that took root, and from that moment on, without you having any idea, started limiting everything from your relationships to your health, work, wealth and life?
We all encounter unresolved pain from our past, or what my guest today, New York therapist and author of the book the origins of you, Vienna Faron, calls original wounds.
But most of us don't realize they even exist.
So we just keep repeating the patterns that lead to unhappiness, having no idea what's really stopping us from feeling more connected and alive.
And even if we do recognize them, understanding and dealing and navigating them, healing them, can be difficult and intimidating.
And that is exactly where we're heading in today's conversation with Vienna, deep into uncovering unresolved pain from the past and how it contributes to maintaining unwanted patterns in our adult lives.
And we also explore why she thinks it's even necessary, even if you're a big fan of more behavioral approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy, to go back in time a bit, we look at how to examine our reactivity to certain triggers as indicators of unresolved pain, and identify the source of behaviors and roles adopted in dysfunctional family systems to make life more tolerable, and then go from being more tolerable to truly abundant and joyful.
I love how practical and strategic and tool oriented Vienna is in her approach.
It opened my eyes to so much, and maybe it'll do the same for you.
So excited to share this conversation with you.
I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is good life project.
There's this interesting thing that I know pops up in any sort of therapeutic practice, and you write about this actually in your new book, and I thought it was kind of a fun jumping off point.
You described this thing called the presenting problem, and it's funny because when you sort of lay that out, my brain is saying, oh, this may be about therapy, but this happens in every part of life.