2022-06-09
54 分钟When you spend every day trying to be the person other people want you to be while still exploring your identity enough to be different, it can be exhausting and mentally tolling to keep that up every day for four years.
My guest today, Danica Rome, went from fronting a death metal band by night while building a career as an accomplished journalist by day, to being the first person be elected and served in any us state legislature while openly transgender.
And when you hear her story, you might think, wow, that's amazing.
But I don't really relate to it.
Well, not so fast when you zoom the lens out.
Well, Danica's story is really about the quest to live as the truest expression of yourself, to stifle or not deny who you are, and to find a sense of home for all parts of you within a community, which is something nearly all of us struggle with.
I know I do.
So think about the first time you felt seen and heard.
Despite what you look or talk or act like, what you believe or who you love, we all want to be embraced for who we truly are.
And there's no better feeling than finding that affirmation and safety in your chosen community.
Whether it's family, friends, or even strangers you share a common interest with.
Experiencing life's smallest and most significant moments is just so much more meaningful when shared with other people.
And this is especially relevant now, right, when it's so easy to choose divisiveness over unity or focus on the differences between ourselves and the next person versus the things that we share in common.
But when we peel back all those external layers and labels and politics and beliefs and more, what we find is that we're all human and that shared experience is the common ground we can always stand on.
This is why I was so excited to be in conversation with Danica.
So in addition to her passion for metal, love of service, and being a part of the historic group that flipped seats in the 2017 Virginia election, Danika's writing has been featured in USA Today, People, GQ, New York times, Elle, and so many others.
And she was the subject of the GLAAD award winning documentary this is how we win.
And in this conversation, Danica takes us back to her teenage years, where she first found her community in what may sound surprising now, but won't later in the metal music world.
And we talk about the struggles of masking the authentic parts of ourselves in order to fit in, and how she's been able to use her experiences to relate with people from all different backgrounds.
On the most human level, Danika's new memoir meets manifesto Burn.