36 Questions to Spark Love and Connection

36个问题激发爱情与连接

The Science of Happiness

社会科学

2025-02-13

23 分钟
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单集简介 ...

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode. Can a simple set of 36 questions build love and intimacy? We explore the science behind how the questions we ask and the way we listen shape our closest relationships. Episode summary:  In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we break down the science behind a practice designed to deepen connection—whether in romantic relationships or friendships. We’re joined by Amber and Ben Wallin, the hilarious and heartfelt couple who’ve shared their marriage and parenting journey with millions on TikTok. They put these 36 questions to the test. Later, we’ll dive into the power of listening and how it shapes our relationships with Yale psychologist Jieni Zhou. This is part of our series The Science of Love, supported by The John Templeton Foundation. Sign up for The Science of Happiness podcast's 7-Day Love Challenge to receive these science-backed practices delivered directly to your inbox: tinyurl.com/7daylovechallenge Today’s Guests: AMBER WALLIN is an LA-based comedian, host, and storyteller with over a million followers on TikTok and Instagram. She creates family, relationship and comedy content with her husband Ben Wallin. Follow Amber on Instagram: @burr_iam Follow Amber on TikTok: @burr_iam BEN WALLIN is a writer, content creator and social media personality who creates family, relationship and comedy content with his wife Amber Wallin.  Follow Ben on Instagram: @beynfluencer Follow Ben on TikTok: @benjaminwallin5 JIENI ZHOU is a Post-doctoral associate at Yale University and an expert in how positive experiences in romantic relationships impact our well-being. Learn more about Jieni here: https://tinyurl.com/mr3nkf2s Related The Science of Happiness episodes:   How 7 Days Can Transform Your Relationship: https://tinyurl.com/bdh2ezhr Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacj Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w Related Happiness Breaks: Meditation on Original Love: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3 Loving Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5 Visualizing Your Best Self in Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/4797z2vf Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod. Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/ktcpz78u
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  • This episode was supported by the John Templeton Foundation initiative spreading love through the media So we met on Tinder America's favorite hookup app at the time and it was the summer of 2015 Yep,

  • and I have been ghosted

  • that summer before so I was literally just like I let me swipe away and just see who's Available to like hang out.

  • Yeah, I was looking for a rebound.

  • What were you looking for?

  • I think I was looking for someone who had similar values of mine So I told him I said I'm going to the dog beach with my dog

  • if you want to come and He came to the dog beach and we talked on that beach for like what maybe like four or five hours or something Yeah But then he did the thing where he's like Hey,

  • like just so you know,

  • I'm gonna be out of town for a couple weeks or so And I won't be near a phone and I know this is code for like,

  • oh,

  • this is where this ends You're gonna ghost me and then was like no I'm gonna be with my family and the mountains in this cabin where you won't be able to reach me But I'll write to you so I was

  • like you'll write to me sure and then one day I go to my mailbox and he had written letters to me and he'd even like picked a flower from the mountain that you were Staying on and those were like folded into the letters.

  • So I was like,

  • oh this guy is different The letters have stopped the romance has stopped I wrote you a letter fairly recently We're I wrote you a mother's day card and mother's day letter.

  • Do you know what today is Mother's Day was May of last year Yeah, that's right.

  • You did not help your case This is the science of happiness and I'm Dakar Kelton This month we're focusing on the science of love uncovering the research behind the connections that shape us and sharing expert insights and practical tips to create deeper,

  • more fulfilling relationships We explore things like how to strengthen your love in seven days and tips on making friends as an adult Today we're diving into a fascinating practice 36 questions that have been shown to strengthen love and deepen connection whether in a romantic relationship or a friendship Joining us are Amber and Ben Wallin a married couple who've captivated millions on tiktok with their humor heart and raw authentic moments as partners and parents They recently put these 36 questions to the test and we're going to hear what the experience was like for them And later in the show we'll explore the power of good listening as researcher Jenny Joe explains Listening may seem very mundane,

  • but listening provides this sense of safety and that creates a space for share positive emotions More after this break How much awe and wonder do you experience in your life?

  • From the John Templeton Foundation our sponsors at the science of happiness the Templeton ideas Podcast explores the most awe-inspiring ideas in our world with the people who investigate them Host Tom Burnett sits down with inspiring thinkers like Allison Gopnik David Brooks Tyler Cowan's and Gretchen Rubin To discuss how their investigations have transformed their lives and how they may transform yours Learn more at Templeton org slash podcast Why do people commit themselves to the things they do?

  • Why are people so worried about sport?