Why Friendships Matter More Than We Think

友谊为何比我们想象的更重要

The Science of Happiness

社会科学

2025-02-27

21 分钟
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单集简介 ...

In a world that emphasizes romantic relationships, we explore the science of friendships in humans and our primate relatives—how we make them and how they not only influence health and happiness, but our survival.  Episode Summary: Romantic love gets plenty of attention, but what about the friendships that sustain us through life’s ups and downs? In this episode, we explore the science and significance of deep friendships, how they contribute to our mental and emotional health, and why they deserve just as much care as romantic relationships. We also discuss practical ways to strengthen friendships and rethink how we define meaningful connections. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode. This is part of our series The Science of Love, supported by The John Templeton Foundation. Sign up for The Science of Happiness podcast's 7-Day Love Challenge to receive these science-backed practices delivered directly to your inbox: tinyurl.com/7daylovechallenge Today’s Guests: DR. MARISA G FRANCO is a psychologist and professor at The University of Maryland and author of the book “Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends.” Learn more about Dr. Marisa G Franco here: https://drmarisagfranco.com/ Follow Marisa on Instagram: @drmarisagfranco DR. LAUREN BRENT is an evolutionary biologist and professor at the University of Exeter. She studies the ecological and evolutionary basis of social relationships and networks. Learn more about Lauren Brent here: http://www.laurenbrent.com/ Related The Science of Happiness episodes:   36 Questions to Spark Love and Connection: https://tinyurl.com/ktcpz78u How 7 Days Can Transform Your Relationship: https://tinyurl.com/bdh2ezhr Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacj Related Happiness Breaks: A Meditation on Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3 A Guided Meditation on Embodied Love: https://tinyurl.com/3dmpfam6 Visualizing Your Best Self in Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/4797z2vf Tell us about your experience building lasting friendships. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod. Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/y99tc9nm
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  • This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation on spreading love through the media.

  • So, in my young 20s, I was not focused on friendship.

  • I was focused on romantic love, and it was not going well.

  • I remember going through a breakup, and I felt so bad,

  • so I asked my friend Heather, Heather, how about we create this wellness group?

  • We'll meet up and practice wellness.

  • We will meditate, cook, do yoga, and it was really to heal from that romantic breakup.

  • Heather said yes, and me and a group of friends would meet every week to practice wellness.

  • And I looked around and I asked myself, like, why doesn't this form of love matter to me?

  • Why have I been so focused on romantic love, feeling like I have no love in my life unless it's romantic?

  • Like, I'm not worthy unless I have a romantic partner.

  • Like, why doesn't this love count?

  • I felt like the ways that I was seeing friendship as trivial and less than reflected a larger culture that devalued this form of connection.

  • And because I felt so loved by my friends through that group, it felt like something's wrong about this.

  • We're really missing something.

  • Friendship shape our lives in ways we don't always realize.

  • They play a huge role in both our happiness and physical health.

  • So why do we sometimes take them for granted?

  • And what can we do to make them stronger?

  • I'm Dacher Keltner, and this is the Science of Happiness.